hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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