I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
