I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
