It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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