No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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