Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
