And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
