Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
