im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
