After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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