Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
