Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
