8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
