i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
