benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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