using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
