You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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