Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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