everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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