Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
