He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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