Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
