Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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