i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
