Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dicks are not precious.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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