My first STD was from a foam party
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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