I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
