Already got asked if we're dating
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
