I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
