you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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