I just saw a hot homeless man
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
