I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
