I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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