are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We named our party play list daddy issues
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize