check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just cut my nipple shaving
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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