Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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