omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
