I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
