Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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