I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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