I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
