yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize