Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
