His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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