I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My vagina just recognized that song.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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