My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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