Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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