i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
