She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize