rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
