I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
