She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
is wine microwaveable?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
