this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
