the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
