Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
