Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
