I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
