god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
