she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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