I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
