He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
