i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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