shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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