Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
