Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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