there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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