You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize