Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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