i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
two words...techno handjob
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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