he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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