That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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