i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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