OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
